CathyShanghai

I don’t know how to describe myself and this decade life experience.

 

I am a typically alluring Shanghainess lady in a small package. Many times, in my dreams, I was your slender tall girl with long legs and big boobs and took your breath away. Unfortunately, I don’t have that model shape genetics from my parents.

 

I have struggled with this problem for a long time, one day I realized that I have to accept myself and all the gifts my parents gave to me. I do have a beautifully sculptured body that I work on to keep in the perfect shape for my size. When you meet me, you see me as a whole nice package, or something about me that attract you. I'm not one-dimensional character. My personality, my smile, my wisdom, my consciousness, my face and my life experience …… A classic oriental lady with taste and mystery.

 

I see myself as a decent lady but I am always thinking I'm not good enough. Because as a sophisticated lady who is in her late 30's, I still have high school girl dreams.

 

To be assertive is one of my characteristics, but I can be sensitive and over thinking sometimes.

 

Some people call me a "cold bitch", I actually like this lovely title on me, because I am rational in general. However, I have a positive and passionate attitude in life, because there is a warm heart underneath this logical mind. Maybe you can say that I am subjective to live in my own world but I try to be justified.

 

I am a complex person and always live in contradiction. If you have some knowledge about zodiac signs, you may understand it. My zodiac sign in sun is Pisces, Capricorn in moon sign, and I am Leo in rising sign. What a contrary but interesting constellation! They implicate and balance each other.

 

I was born and grew up in my hometown Shanghai, I experienced all the great changes here. My parents always wanted the best for me. They believed in the strict education system adopted by most Chinese families whether wealthy or poor. Schooling means long days and the education system can be tough on children. I don't know whether it was that that gave my rebellious side, to fight against the system or that rebellious streak was in my DNA. I craved freedom to explore and experience the things that were opposite of the things I was being taught. I was in ten years abusive life experience in campus from middle school to university, I call it “10-years of dark”. That planted the seed deeply in my mind and discovered explore myself to be dominant. Fight back?

 

I am a bit confused how to describe this decade life experience（four years retired in between 2020 - 2023）. Because I can’t just use a few words or sentences to comment it, I always see things in different sides. I learned how to behave as a decent lady with rules of etiquette from this work. I got so much precious life experience and lessons from dealing with different people in this work. My ability of handling things got practiced quite well as a strong and sophisticated lady in this industry. In my point of view, this job is tough, and it’s not for everyone, especially your target is to be the top. This industry is complex enough for us to get practice what we never can learn from books, schools and other industries. However, things always have different sides. When I look back what I have gone through during this decade special life experience, I realize that it’s fancy life which is not realistic. Girls can get obsessed in living these extravagant moments easily step by step, but difficult to get out of it. Can I call it “Beautiful Toxic Drug”?

 

I lost myself when I stayed in U.S for more than two years and half, I think it was my lofty peak to work as a companion and dominatrix. I was blind as an epicurean, gold, wine, luxury shopping, good restaurants, compliments, voluptuous life. Thousands of nights when I slept alone in bed, I told myself that I needed to wake up and get out of it. Actually, I made it happen with my execution. I studied interior design course in an institute since I came back to my hometown Shanghai from U.S. I got the certification with some efforts and worked as an interior designer for less than two years, I tried very hard working on it. Then Covid explored all over the world, and I was one of the employees to be fired due to the economy influence. I was struggled that whether I needed to continue working in the interior design industry or not for a short while, and finally I made a tough decision to stop it. Most people around me persuaded me to give it one more time, but I don’t think I am talent in technical skills as an interior designer. Since then, I was in lost again. It took me some time to figure out what I should do in life and find myself. Since I am familiar with the fitness industry and I have my independent and unique idea of the sports wearing for women, why not creating my own brand of it? Help the ladies in different body shapes to get the most suitable sports wearing for them. Now I have my brand of sports wearing for women, and the new business just started at the beginning. I am proud of myself that I handled all details of this project, started with the idea, then business plans and budget plans, one of the most important factors is funds, cooperation with the designer, product’s manufacture, QAC and ISO, photo shooting on products, marketing. The whole process is much longer and tougher than I expected, I did meet some difficulties in between. I am glad here I am now with perseverance and patience. I can’t see the future; however, I still believe the future.

 

As an Asian lady, we are not treated fairly most of time in my opinions, especially in this industry. I try not to define myself or set myself in a certain position. I travelled in U.S, South Africa, Japan and Australia（I came back to this work temporarily for some reasons in January of 2024 and toured in Australia）. I was probably super lucky that in the last many years I was always spoiled and protected by 98% of my customers. Since I came back to this game, everything is changed a lot. Like what I referred at the beginning, if Asian ladies deserve to offer low prices and more services? Just because we are not bombshell? It’s about the whole package, appearance, services, personality, wisdom, life experience, etiquettes, manners, the ability to handle things, nature of a person and confidence. I always convince myself that I should believe in myself. What I should do is to improve myself better and more valuable, if they don’t like me, it’s their problems, not mine. If they try to hurt me, I definitely will fight back harder. I am a little thing in a petite package, but my temper can be quite big if you touch my redline.

 

I try not to use the vocabularies “gorgeous”, “sexy”, “intelligent”, “muse” as titles on me. As a mature and sophisticated lady in my middle and close to late of 30’s, I prefer to have some good taste. If people like you, they will come for you or make friends with you, something of you must attract them. That’s the feeling! Do I need to be spoiled as a wonderful lady? Of course, but in realist ways.